Cup 35 - Leslie

August 24, 2014

I am honoured to get to write about one of the most wise, amazing and resilient women I know.  I visited Leslie in her beautiful home this morning; the first time I had been there in....well, while I'm not exactly sure, it had been over ten years, for sure.  I hadn't seen Les in over six.  She had sent me a photo Christmas card last year with a short message about how she wished our lives were "lived a little closer together".  I remember wishing the same thing.  I'm guilty to report that it took my hearing about some challenging circumstances happening with her family (this is an understatement) for me to properly get back in touch.

While the intent of this post is not to headline the struggles Les and her family are facing, I do want to briefly put it out there, as many of you will know Leslie and will want to keep them in your thoughts and prayers.  I also know she is open to sharing the story.  Currently, their eldest daughter, Maddie, is battling cancer following the removal of tumours from her brain.  This is on top of Maddie's autism diagnosis several years back, as well as other serious health matters for Leslie herself, and one of their twin daughters too.  If you would like to know more about Maddie's courageous fight (she is a smart, talented and overall AMAZING girl!) please, follow this link to her story.  (Finding the first Journal entry - a few pages back - will reset the story of her journey back to the beginning.  Huh - I had never connected the words Journal and Journey together until right now...)

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/maddiefriesen/journal

Thinking about Leslie (and her family:  Dave, Maddie, Nate, Sally and Ella) I almost don't know where to begin or what details to share.  There are so many.  And they're all wonderful details as they are all wonderful people.  Seriously.  I walked into their big, beautiful kitchen this morning to realize Dave's same, smiling face and upbeat persona (he likes to point out a few of his grey hairs but, honestly who would ever notice, it's his infectious nature that is most present.  It's Les' nature too.)  It was only 9am and she had already baked homemade scones, prepared a huge bowl of strawberries and was ready to decorate my coffee with Bailey's Irish Cream.  (I accepted!)

Dave left for the hospital while, over the next three hours (which flew by), Leslie I and caught up by reminiscing old times and about common friends.  I got to meet her other three children (all fantastic people) and, when the time was all said and done, left in awe that she had been more sincerely interested to hear about my vanilla life considering everything she must have on her mind at all times!

Les and I went to the same high school but only knew each other as acquaintances.  It wasn't until my second year of teaching that we were paired together on a grade six team at an Airdrie middle school.  Thus began a relationship that was the root of so many others (I have already written about Diane, Brandi, Sarah....all people I became connected to because of Leslie and, of course, there are many, many more!)  We taught together for 4 years until she and Dave successfully adopted Maddie. During that time, though, she connected me to Country Hills Community Church.  And while that particular church has since merged with another, and I no longer attend, it all culminated in being an extremely significant eight years of my life.  Leslie was the foundation and I am forever grateful for all the experiences and people who have contributed to my repertoire of who I am today.

Leslie is a beautiful person, through and through.  She is gorgeous on the outside but this extends a thousand-fold to the inside.  She would literally do anything for anyone.  She is genuinely interested in everyone!  She has an amazing faith and is so matter-of-fact and open when she talks about it. Everything about her is natural.  I admire all of these traits and would love to emulate more of them.

I did have to laugh, when reading a recent journal post Les wrote now that Maddie's home for a stint, where she called herself that "good-enough-girl" (in reference to being worried about sterilizing items needed for Maddie's care).  This might be the one definite thing we have in common.  I love that it describes her because if Les can get away with being a good-enough-girl then that gives me all the more ammunition to continue!  (I write this for the benefit of my perfectionist husband who cannot stand that I subscribe to, "Sometimes good is good enough, Derek!")

It's unfortunate that tough times are often the ones to reunite friends.  Blessed am I that our reunion leaves me overflowing with the memories of wonderful times and the inspiration of incredible people.

Cup 34 - Brandi

August 18, 2014

Born only one day after me (well, okay - four years and one day after me) Brandi and I share a Scorpio status.   Not that either of us really subscribe to the astrological world; we certainly have better things in common than November.  Things like our careers, our elevated status of family, an affection for dogs, clothes, cards and Grey's Anatomy.  We had lunch today on the patio at Joey's Crowfoot (did I mention an affection for good food?) and, seeing as she has lived in Kelowna for...eight?!....years already, it was great to get to see her today.  Life had somehow been happening and we let a few years pass between conversations.  Today's was a great one though.  I knew it would be.

Brandi and I met for the very first time when she was substitute teaching for my teaching partner, in my team teaching classroom, back in 1998.  Having just moved here from Edmonton, she and her husband Corey arrived to work in ministry with youth and I was drawn to their vision.  Over the next several years I joined them as a volunteer in a youth group and eventually as general manager of a youth centre.  We spent a lot of time together, working with young people but we also carved out time, just for our friendship.  We'd walk, we'd talk, we'd meet at the gym where I would put in a half-hearted effort.  We'd see movies or watch fluff on TV.  We went on a couple road trips while she still lived in Calgary and then, after they moved to Chicago and then the Okanagan, Brandi and Corey's home address would become my single girl's road trip destination.

Boy, that last paragraph covered a lot!  Basically from 1998 to 2007 and several thousand kilometers.  Two children were even born!  I don't really feel like I need to share all of our secrets to convey that Brandi was (IS!) an important person in my life.  What is important is the bond we formed; this doesn't require detailed explanations of the past!  She and I were friends during some formative years and life's circumstance separated our proximity and eventually the amount of time we spent talking or together.  No matter.  People talk all the time about how "real friends"are ones who you can pick right up with after any amount of time and Brandi and I are cliche that way. Thank goodness!  

Over the past few years we had gotten out of touch I had thought about Brandi and her family a lot (and OFTEN wished she would post more to FaceBook!).  I have since learned there have been lots of celebrations, a few struggles and challenges and that she is still very much the same open, warm, kind woman.  She is an incredible mom, wife, daughter and sister, is excelling in her career (if the BC gov't would ever just recognize their teachers appropriately so that she could get back to her important work) and, since I last saw her about 7 years ago, hasn't aged a day!   I hope that's something Scorpios have in common.  Oh yeah, if we believed in that stuff... 

Cup 33 - Steve

August 7, 2014

Kind of funny that "Cup 32" was about a friend I first met when she was "just a kid" in Youth Group and now "Cup 33" is about a friend I knew when he and I were BOTH kids in Youth Group. Ah......Youth....

Actually, I'm not sure Steve and I actually MET in Youth Group. But we did spend lots of time together there, running around the United Church basement in Cochrane and asking one of our leaders to "show us again" that he didn't have a bellybutton.  (SO freaky!  It had been sewn over after a surgery.)  Ah...Memories....

Another fun one is that Steve and I were in the same grade 7 homeroom.  There were 35 students in the class, only 3 of them boys!  During our Social Studies unit on government, as a class we had a very Survivor-esque assignment.  I think it was called Stranded!  Or Shipwrecked?!  No! MAROONED!!  (Don't you just love my stream-of-consciousness blogging!)  The premise is that the 35 of us were stranded on a deserted island and together we had to come up with all of our own rules and laws to form a new society.  You can imagine the scenarios us 32 girls were forced to concede given only 3 males with whom to ensure the survival of all mankind!  And all of these polygamist decisions made while we were all only 12 years old.  Not sure a class would get away with that now. Come to think of it, that teacher "retired" kind of early. Heard the poor guy owns a Tim Hortons now.  Hope he isn't suffering from his decision to leave Education...

Steve is a social beast and it's the BEST!  I had the honour to plan our 25 year High School Reunion with Steve and three other alumni.  Steve was a maniac when it came to tracking down old classmates.  He made phone calls to cities across the country and I'm pretty sure he just showed up on a few doorsteps.  His ticket selling success rate was second to none.  Funny that, after literally 15 months of planning, on the day of the reunion we called him when he was 30 minutes late for setting up and he was at the wrong community hall.  Guess he missed THAT detail during all his Googling! 

Steve, today, is a life-long learner who - even after having achieved both success and promotion with Canada Post - is back at school adding to his repertoire.  More important than career is his beautiful family which includes a wife, two great kids and two lazy dogs (at least those are the pictures of them he shares.)  Steve is active in his neighbourhood and in his kids' schools. He's an avid sports fan and has his finger on the pulse of the city, in general.   He can ALWAYS be counted on for a witty retort as his sense of humour is famous (at least, to me.)  Knowing him as a grown-up now, his heart for people is very evident.  That is probably his greatest quality.  His sincere heart for people.  And while he might try to make a joke about that, it's not a laughing matter.  Just a matter of fact.  We had coffee at a small shop in Hillhurst this morning and he recognized the barrista as a former neighbour from years back and struck up some banter. He later texted me from the Bottle Depot where he had run into a current neighbour - albeit one of the Calgary Flames (yeah, an NHLer at a bottle depot, you read it right) - but it's all just further proof that Steve knows  and remembers everyone!  Super glad he knows me!  (I WAS one the wives in his fictional, 1983 harem after all!)

Cup 32 - Sarah

August 6, 2014

I hadn't seen Sarah in....eleven years?  Twelve?  Nope, I think it has been thirteen!  I remember because this last time was at a friend's wedding and I remember the wedding was the same summer as my brother's wedding.  Mike and Jacky just celebrated thirteen years last week.  Whoa - where DOES time go?  It doesn't seem all that long ago that Sarah and I were sitting on my couch, routing for Clay Aiken during the second ever American Idol finale.  Or that we were handing out lunches on East Hastings Street in Vancouver, while trying to "blend in" but no one was buying it.  (Two very diverse memories, I realize!)  

The next mind blowing fact is that when I MET Sarah, nineteen years ago she was twelve years old. Never a student in my class, Sarah was one of the youth in the church group I volunteered with. Even then she was bright and ambitious, determined and driven.  Today she might very well be one of the people I admire the most. Someone I am definitely in awe of and proud to know. She obviously isn't a teenager anymore, and apparently I missed all of her 20s too (except via FaceBook these past few years.) Appearing on TV and presenting at international conferences, Sarah is a "big-shot" (to me) in the non-profit world, fighting to end homelessness and giving our fellow citizens, who battle addictions and mental struggles, a right to the basic need for shelter.  I couldn't begin to tell you what and how she does this as eloquently as she explained her role to me, but just believe me when I tell you she is a hero and a leader.  A wise, patient, kind, compassionate, hard-working, genuine and loving hero and leader.  Our community is beyond lucky to have her.

And this is only part of why I feel beyond lucky to know her.  Apart from her professional achievements I relate to Sarah on more personal levels as well.  She recommends good books.  We enjoy some of the same smutty, reality TV.  Family is uber important to both of us (ask us about our nieces!).  So are our friends equally important.  Just like I was at 30, Sarah is a single girl and a catch!  Beautiful, fit, funny and stylish (okay, maybe those didn't all describe me...but I WAS single!)  Sarah is an independent home owner, a traveller and an amazing big sister (and Auntie!). She oozes positivity and honesty.  Love it all.

The fun anecdote from our visit was tonight's venue.  Having read so many of her FaceBook posts about the Bowness Pub, I wanted her to take me there for wings.  But it wasn't wing night after all. And the kitchen was closed for renovations so we actually couldn't get anything...until the wonderful waitress told us we could order in pizza from the neighbouring take out place.  So we did.  But pizza and a couple of pints wasn't enough time so we walked the neighbourhood and chatted even more in a park until the sun started to fade and our goosebumps started to grow.  Sarah is lovely and fascinating and just so "real".  I don't know how high her stock will rise in her career (and of course that has nothing to do with why she is doing any of it) but I feel privileged I'll be able to say, "I knew her when..."  

I feel privileged to know her now!

Cup 31 - Becky

August 5, 2014

Have you ever been friends with someone so long that part way through the friendship their name changed?  .....and I don't mean their last name!  (Although, in this case, that one did too.)  Rebecca M.  But I knew her back when she was Becky D.!  I will always say that names are super important, and that a person should get to be called what they want to be called, but in "Becky's" case, I haven't been able to make the change and that is unlike me.  (Heck I have a friend who I easily switched to calling Michelle after first knowing her as Gwen, you'd think that would be more of a stretch!)

Beck (okay - I CAN shorten it) met while we were both servers at Hurley's Roadhouse in Kensington.  I was actually still a teenager at the time so this means it was in the 80'S!  Becky was my worldly peer.  A few years older than me, living in her own apartment in this cool neighbourhood (with a boy!), and with an eclectic, artistic style and taste.  She didn't eat red meat back at the time when no one was doing that yet!  And she chose not to have learned how to drive - which I also found super interesting having grown up in a small town where everyone gets their license the week they turn 16!   She knew all the Hurley's regulars by name AND could bring them their drink of choice without even having to ask them.  Of course, I now know this isn't Nobel Prize winning stuff but to the little girl who still lived at home with her parents in Cochrane, I thought she was kind of awesome.  I still do!

Over the years, she has continued to inspire me with her go-getted-ness and resolve.  While often from a distance I have been proud of Becky as she went back to university and got her Masters (in museum curation - or something cool like that?!).  She decided to learn Spanish, has done some residencies in Mexico and is now fluent.  (It might have been around the time she started working at a museum that she switched to Rebecca....)  An animal lover to the core, she has rescued and nurtured numerous fur-babies of the canine, feline and lepine (bunny!) variety.  She builds things, sews things and collects things.  Boy, is she ever a good collector!  "Back in the day" is was things to do with Disney, today it is vintage Blythe dolls.  She is unexpected and fun yet can still be a little cliche and fun.  I've been to Vegas with Becky thre

e times and seen the "Thunder From Down Under" (at least) twice.  What sillier thing is there for a bunch of girls to do in Vegas than that?!

Some favourite Becky stories.  She had a GREAT wedding - complete with both hers and my dog dressed up for the Baker Park ceremony, followed by a beautiful party at the Lougheed House complete with dancing lessons for ALL the guests!  My very favourite though....dropping by on Boxing Day with a wrapped gift (candle holder).  Before she opened it though, she showed me the "hideous" candle holder her boyfriend's parents gave her that she hated.  Unbeknownst to her, the one in my wrapped parcel was the same!  HaHa.  She didn't open it until I left and called me mortified later that day.  I thought it was hilarious and will never forget the story!

As she and I both changed addresses over time, we ended up living fairly close together in the northwest for awhile.  And, when we were both single girls we may have tended to get together a little bit more often.  Now, living across town precludes me from dragging my butt over to see her more than I should, but today we did enjoy lunch together on the rooftop patio of the establishment where we met.  (New name, same longitutde and latitude.)  It was fun to reflect back on what was, perhaps, a simpler time.  What has been more fun, though, is evolving together yet remaining friends all the while.  Would we go back to being in our early-20s?  Perhaps for a visit (Vegas is different when you're 24) but the present is rich thanks to the experiences we've both shared having remained in each others' lives.

That's Becky!  (But you should call her Rebecca!)

xo